People react differently to large amounts of money. Some people like to bask in luxury, others appreciate every hard-earned coin. How is it with us, women? How is it with me?
Recently, I had the pleasure to sit in a race Porsche worth 3.5 million DKK (550.000 dollars). I had mixed feelings. On the one hand, as I was passing “ordinary” people on the street I had a sensation of achieving something. This car gave me the “I made it” feeling. People were looking and I imagined that it was my car and my success. For a fraction of a second, I felt completeness and satisfaction. I had something that only a few people can afford, something to envy.
Two scenarios appeared in my head. In the first one, these “ordinary” people were looking at that sports car with me in it thinking “Wow! She achieved something, worked hard for it”. The second option was “Her face is pretty enough that she can hang out in a car that belongs to a man who worked hard for it.” In this second scenario, they were mocking me. And they were right. I was sitting in this car even though I did not own any part of it. There was a HUGE gap between what my financial situation actually looked like, and only that part was real.
If I had not spent hours in front of the mirror figuring out how to be the perfect entertainer, I would not feel the pang of jealousy from others. It feeds us. Driving a better car in better clothes, wearing better jewelry in a better neighborhood. Sugar Babes, who measure high, dislike being seen as “normal” people. Despite that in most cases they have not achieved spectacular success, they can pull the benefits from others work. There is nothing wrong with that. They may have other things to offer. However, they can still be attributed to this environment. To be “better”. Many times I went on an exotic trip being completely broke. People, however, perceived me as a woman of success, which gave me an empty feeling of satisfaction.
I played the role of a confident woman, fulfilled in professional, private and emotional life. While in actuality my life had no roots or stability. I did not possess anything, neither plans for the future nor material things (except for a few pairs of shoes to loosen my legs). Writing and sharing my experiences helped me to find a purpose and an idea for my future. A combination of passion and pleasure like meeting interesting gentlemen grounded me. So now, instead of imagining owning a Porsche, I may actually own one someday.
To sum up, it is nice sometimes to immerse yourself in moments of oblivion and imagine that you are somebody else. Nobody can forbid you. However, it is important to stay firmly on the ground and have a realistic approach to ownership. You really only have what you worked for with your own hands. That will give you a real sense of satisfaction. All other feelings of fulfillment in other people’s realities are just a passing tale.