Recently during my wonderful Balinese holidays, I witnessed a situation which put me in the state of dumbfounding. Many facts came to me then, I woke up, I understood and I was speechless. It took place in a refined French restaurant called Metis, in the exclusive part of Bali, known as Petitenget. Yes, Bali is not only rice fields. You can eat the most sophisticated food, dress like fashionista and live like a king for a few dollars. There I had one of the most romantic dinners in my life. Attractive, stylish and funny Sugar Daddy, delightful meal and endless conversation. An atmosphere full of acceptance, openness and fun. Looking around the restaurant I saw mannered couples, drunk groups of friends and bored upper-class families. From the corner of eye, I noticed a universal and natural phenomenon in Asia. A typical Sugar Date. A provocative, defiant and cocksure Indonesian girl sitting in front of an elderly, uncertain European gentleman. She was staring at her smartphone; he was staring at the food. She was instagramming the refined meal from every angle, he was relishing the taste of the steak. Nothing was connecting them except for the joint table and probably an empty sexual intercourse after the dinner.
However, it’s not my point. What have our relations boiled down to?
To watching smartphone screens. Likes on Instagram give you a moment of happiness and a growing number of friends on Facebook, a feeling of satisfaction. The Internet combats insecurities and uncertainty. By publishing a photo from a fancy restaurant (like that girl) you get recognition from your friends because “you can afford it”, “you are celebrating life”, “you are worth it”.
They give you false approvals, your dopamine exudes, the bliss is born. Everything is easier there. What are they really feeling? Jealousy, contempt and irritation. They don’t show it. A real princess of Instagram and the king of Facebook likes, everyone. Like4like and follow4follow are philosophies combined with a desire for acceptance. Technology allows us to evaluate people with one swipe. That’s how human consumerism is born.
More real friends, less Facebook “friends”. Let’s start looking for real values in people instead of judging them by the number of followers or likes. What is the gesture showing that someone is actively participating in the conversation nowadays? That somebody is important to you? Putting the phone aside. Even better – not taking it for dinner, a date or a meeting. By listening to what others have to say, focusing your attention on the people who are important to you, you will start noticing the existence of details you weren’t aware of. You are here and now. The art of conversation disappears because we communicate in short phrases, emotions or emojis. Stop that and get to know your Sugar Daddy. Listen to him, open his soul and heart. He is a man who needs acceptance and attention. Empty or full wallet, we are all looking for understanding and appreciation in the real world.
Why was my date so successful? Because I only look at the mirror of the soul (the eyes), not the screen of the phone.