As our beloved Pat Benatar once sang, love is a battlefield. A clash between rivals that can last even decades. It can be bloody and brutal but the taste of success is sweet. What kind of war am I running? Sexual. I came from a traditional Catholic family where the word “sex” was not used in everyday life. No one had any idea what Sugar Dating meant and getting married at a young age was just a formality. My peers were sexually aware early enough but I wasn’t as advanced as them. In addition to the physical act, for me, It was about something more. About passion, chemistry, and desire. The connection between two people full of respect and sincerity to each other. It took a while until I found a suitable man.
In the following years, I started to discover my sexuality but the disturbing sounds came to me from the outside world. Young people have become sexually tamed to strangers (!) like to breakfast cereals. My ideals have been collapsing with each passing year. Sex became a food for our body, not our soul. I don’t protest, I state. I decided to declare war on the consumption of sex. Sounds hilarious, I know.
During my breaks between sugar daddies, I conducted an experiment. I dated 10 random guys who seemed to be rational and not horny. What was their task? Resistance without sexual activity to more than five dates. This is not a proven border but I believe after that you start to really get to know someone. Kissing didn’t count as a sexual activity. Results? Here they are!
All the first dates were successful. Men motivated to make a great first impression accepted my views on waiting for sexual activity. They even claimed excitement with that extravagance(!). Second date, further excitement by discovering of another person, complete with a mandatory kiss. No kiss? He will consider you as cold and hard to get. They wanted, I kissed.
The third date is always a mixture of feelings. Kisses are inviting, the atmosphere is romantic. He, of course, would like to go further. Countless times I pulled their hands off my breast at the end of the third date. There is nothing wrong with that. They follow their hunting instinct, goal nearly scored. Impatience wakes up and desire won’t leave him alone. At this point, instead of focusing on physical needs, he should see me as a human being. Not as a sexual object. His curiosity about my personality, plans, and dreams, will open my gate (metaphor).
Not many reached the fourth date. They lost interest, suddenly had to work or unexpected business trip happened. Haven’t heard from them since. Many women now would say “He was not good enough for you” or “There is plenty of fish in the sea, don’t worry”. I’m not worried, I’m afraid if something isn’t served on the tray, it is not interesting. They got used to an easy and quick physical act. It’s easier to find the next one than fight. They lack perseverance. What’s the score?
Six men gave up after the third date.
Three men gave up after the fourth date.
Numbers speak for themselves, don’t they? Don’t give up on your sexuality to men so easily. Nobody is owned by anybody. There has to be mutual respect between the partners. Nothing is for granted.