Sugar Dating Is Not Just Sugar Dating: Everyone Is Different

Around Easter, I can celebrate my first year anniversary after trying out Sugar Dating for the first time. When I started out, I really had low expectations.

It started out as a fun thing to try, with no expectation of continuing it. However, I quickly realised the Sugar Dating is not like media describes it.

What I quickly found out on the site, was that sugar-dating is not just one thing. I have come to realize that you really have two axes that people are on:

  • One axis is “I really need sugar” vs. “I don’t want sugar
  • One axis is “I want fun” vs “I want serious

I think many people get the wrong picture just by looking at the “I really need sugar” + “I want fun” part of the Sugar Dating community. I have absolutely nothing against people that want that combination, it’s just a huge turn-off for me so I avoid it.

But, at least half of the people I’ve talked to are also NOT in this quadrant: Some just want a mature boyfriend. Some just want a new purse while also having fun. You cannot put everyone in the same category.

After having tried all 4 options, I have come to the realization that I am personally much more on the “I don’t want sugar” in combination with a mix of serious and fun. I hate one-night stands, but I am not planning to enter a serious monogamous relationship tomorrow.

The great thing about sugar-dating is the fact that it’s a community of very open-minded, no-bullshit and honest people, which really makes it easy to match expectations. I’ve had so many messages ending with:
I truly respect what you’re seeking, that is just not where I am at the moment.”.

For me, this has meant that whenever I start to communicate with a new person, we start on equal terms. We have matched expectations. We both agree on what we are looking for. There are no surprises.

This is a very pleasant opposition to something like Tinder, where men are probably pretending to be a biiiiit more serious than they are, and women are probably pretending to be in a liiiiittle less rush about babies than they are.

To me, that has meant, I’ve met some amazing people in Sugar Dating. I’ve been with a girl now for 4+ months, there has been no sugar and it’s a very “normal” relationship. The main difference is that there is a significant age-difference combined with a very honest relationship where expectations have been matched.

Had I been in a different situation and been in a different quadrat – my experiences would have differed – and that is the beautiful thing: everyone is different.

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