Sugar Advisor: My Experiences with Violence in Relationships

My Experiences with Violence in Relationships

 

Sugar Advisor

 

Have I ever experienced violence in a relationship? Yes. Have I ever reported it anywhere? No. In all intimate relations, every kind of emotion has the right to exist. They can be positive, negative, intense or destructive. We are only humans; various feelings are living inside us.

The question is whether mental or physical violence over another person is tolerable. Of course not. So why so many women are afraid to step out of the shadow? I will speak for myself; I know why I didn’t go public. Because I knew that in every situation there was a drop of my fault. It was me who provoked my partner and consciously pressed the buttons that led to an explosion. He was not the only perpetrator, he simply unconsciously responded to my manipulation. We, women, particularly like to dominate our partners. As the well-known saying goes, “Men rule the world, and women rule men”.

Yet guilt usually lies on both sides. However, even though someone is being provoked, it does not mean that he has the right to lay his hand on you. We are all separate individuals and we have the right to have different views.

I’m not a psychologist. For advice on repetitive situations that create traumas, please go to a specialist.

I consider myself a tolerant person. In extreme conflict situations, I prefer to take the blame on myself even if I’m right. It shortens the time of the argument which usually does not lead to anything. As an experienced Sugar Baby, I like to mitigate conflicts and deal with objections in a calm and deliberate way. I never act on emotions. When I see that my Sugar Daddy is nervous or irritated, I give him space. He is probably hangry, tired or had a hard day at work. Our relationship should not suffer because of external factors. I come back when he is relaxed and peaceful. I show support and interest. You are not there to argue. Quarrels will not bring you any benefits. On the contrary, if you are not as gentle as a lamb, he will replace you with a better model. Sometimes, however, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

So how do you recognize an abusive Sugar Daddy?

  • He is possessive, jealous and controlling.
  • Often aggressive and impulsive, especially after drinking alcohol.
  • Dominating sexually, sometimes disrespectfully crossing your boundaries and blaming it on “heat of the moment”.

Stay away from this type. From the beginning make sure who you are dealing with and do not let him go too far. Maybe you get benefits, but the arrangement should be safe and pleasant for you.I never let the conflict result in physical or mental violence. I learned my lesson. After crossing the barrier of invulnerability, there is no turning back. Once my long-term partner in the middle of the argument hit me in the face. Deep shock, fear, and anger went down my body. After that nothing was the same.

All relationships are work on some level and maintaining them requires energy and effort. However, beware and do not let anyone violate your personal space.

 

Yours truly,

Sugar Advisor

You are always welcome to write Oliwia at sugaradvisor@sugardaters.com or send a direct message to @Sugar Daters Blog on Facebook.

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our contributing authors are those of the authors and don’t necessarily reflect or represent the views and opinions held by SugarDaters®.