Do you know what excites men? Freedom. A getaway option. A plan B. It gives them a sense of security. They are here because they want, not because they are forced to do so. It’s funny, because women want something exactly the opposite. We want to be closed in a cage of marriage. Only then we feel safe and sound. We feel relieved. “The hunt is over”. For men, especially those with long marriage experience, hunting never ends.
I’m not saying they immediately cheat. They appreciate women. And you should too. Admire women, just like he does. Do you see an attractive blonde on the street? Yes, she exists. You should even turn your head after her like a typical Alpha male. As long as you keep the exit gate open, he will be crazy about you. Sometimes remind him that you are open for his friends, threesome or separate traveling. I can assure you that none of the above options will happen. If the cage is open, he won’t fly away. He may pop out for a moment but quickly return. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a relationship, friendship or sugar dating. For each kind of relationship we need to have an indispensable element – freedom of choice.
People don’t believe that in long-term relationships or marriages they can feel free. After all, we are obliged to the “Till death tear us apart”. I don’t suggest a violation of the oath. I will show you an option for rebuilding energy. The feeling of freedom brings joy but also fear. That’s why men always come back to their nests. They have been fighting for freedom for centuries. When they get it, suddenly they are totally monogamous. Maybe he will go to the bar and check out some hot brunette, but he will go back to your bed and tell you all about her tits. Because for you, they can be honest. No bullshit, no taboos, just honesty. He doesn’t want to hide anything, because he can.
Nothing strengthens a relationship like being apart. Trips are your blessing. Longing for your loved one makes you appreciate him. Business trips, retreats, parent visits, extra hours at work are actually the healthiest relationship medicine. It’s a separation from the routine that makes our relationships alive. Routine is healthy FOR KIDS only. If you want to have sex more than once in a week, feel freshness and chemistry, kill the routine.
I will present you the experiment I heard about. A couple was engaged for 10 years. No energy. No sex. Grey everyday life. The man decided to paint a line running through the middle of their apartment. Since that time, they had to continue a normal life without crossing the line. They couldn’t touch, kiss or sleep together. They could talk and look at each other. There was no change in energy for about 4 weeks. After that time, they started to miss each other. While being in the same apartment! They longed for closeness and tenderness.They talked dirty from separate sides of the line. Their energy exploded. After this experiment, they experienced reconciliation as never before. They decided to get married shortly after, while consciously keeping the energy in the relationship.