Addiction. First association? Drugs, alcohol, and food. Many people are unaware of the various types of addiction. Let’s take, for example, money, freedom, and state of euphoria. Money gives you freedom, freedom puts you in a state of euphoria. Simple process. Let’s go deeper into it. Where does the money come from? From hard work, with inheritance or from ATM. Most Sugar Babies don’t care how they got into the cash machine and about the amount of work somebody has to put in, so they can pull them out. Not knowing the difficulties raise the lack of appreciation and then taking everything for granted. Money is a ticket to freedom which is a curse in my opinion. After a prolonged celebration of freedom and the state of euphoria about the absence of borders, people begin to think soberly.They are looking for something. Searching for meaning and purpose. Seeking for the reasons. Almost 80% of people are going through this process. Diving into spiritualism, depression or middle age crisis. Sugar Babies are also going through this period. The wave of confusion and questions type “How long it will last?” and “What are my future ambitions?” I have experienced it myself.
A lot of them decides to throw this lifestyle and go back to reality, which is brutal. Many of them also decide to stay for good and over time they become plastic dolls because youth desperation appears about which I wrote in the earlier post. They stop look for a meaning in life and try to sustain the state of euphoria with endless consumerism in the form of shopping and luxury lifestyle. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s their choice. I stopped judging people for good. It only creates anger in me because people do not change under the influence of others.
Therefore, I will take into consideration only my process. A few years ago I experienced tremendous shock which changed my whole life. I began to perceive differently the value of money because I had to earn it with my own hands. However, I never got used to it. I always had “more” than the others. I did not see myself as a working class woman. When my life forced me to be her, I began to discover other options. For example, older men. They were experienced and resourceful. That’s how my sugar dating story began. I got addicted to older men, sense of security and protection of loneliness. Having a father, a lover and a boss in one. Wonderful, isn’t it?
Big ambitions weren’t born yet so I could dissolve myself in a trouble-free life. As soon as men sensed my addiction, I found a new one. It lasted until I FELL IN LOVE. This man not only gave me safety but also challenged me. With him, I started growing mentally and emotionally. His philosophy of life was incredibly intriguing. It was a mixture of knowledge about technology, spiritualism, philosophy, love, and polygamy with the addition of his own experience. An explosive mixture. We started our relationship with a simple sugar daddy – sugar baby relation and we ended up with a deep and indestructible connection. Complete love and complete addiction from my side. When he realized how deep my addiction was, he broke up with me. He threw me out of the house. He said “You need to go to rehab. You have to learn to be alone, treat your loneliness as a partner”.
I never feel so lost. A desire to meet new partners disappeared and was replaced with meditation. Being in a relationship with yourself. Don’t think that I’m a spiritual person, on the contrary, I’m stiff on the ground but I needed this rehab. I learned to depend only on myself. Soon I started dating again. This time in a very conscious way. I also started writing down my experiences, it brought me some kind of release and a lot of consciousness of my own process. So, here I am helping you with your twists and turns.
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