Sugar Advisor: Morons are a dime a dozen

Morons are a dime a dozen

 

Sugar Advisor

 

It’s mathematically unmanageable to determine how to find an alpha male. You are an attractive female looking for moments of exaltation and appreciation. Your mailbox is bursting at the seams of “must-be“ censored messages. Repetitive mantra “How much?”, “Is 2000 enough?” and “You are hot”. I view such men as salivating dogs. You are disgusted and bored. You delete your profiles on dating websites. However, with the rise of mental and sexual desperation, you slowly languish. You look out for the prince charming on Tinder and Facebook, which turns out to be a total disaster. I read recently that women have to lower their standards, otherwise they would be virgins until the end of their lives. We need to face the truth. The main goal of our generation is copulation. You surrender and start setting up your profile again. An ambitious description of what you are looking for, checked. Tasty and classy photo from paradise, checked. Next? The crucial step, grain separation. Separating the seeds from the straw. To put it simple, segregating idiots from potential partners.

I do not respond to:
-short and impersonal messages
-proposals containing numbers
-vulgar messages

 

If you checked and denied all the points above, you are on the right track. If you can stand his appearance and you imagine how his “equipment” looks, you are on the road to paradise. If you have verified his passions, his approach to life and his place of work, it is time to arrange the meeting.

Rendezvous

You choose a place. If he’s offering a glass of wine and Netflix in his bedroom, he’s lost his chance. The first meeting should ALWAYS be in public area, due to the option that he used a Photoshop and sugar-coated himself. What’s even more important? Of course safety, you don’t want to get in trouble under unknown circumstances. What are men afraid of? Dinner on a first date. A hopeless situation, with no escape. Being grounded for an hour with a bagger. It doesn’t bother me, I can be imprisoned with a troll. Usually, they are better at talking than prettily boys because they can’t impress with their looks, so they have to think for once. Let’s take a positive scenario. You go for a drink in a tasteful place. He is well-formed, neat and charming. His wallet is stuffed enough. You are enchanted…and drunk. STOP. Let your head in alarm when the conversation come down on sex. Don’t get me wrong. Flirt and tell about your preferences but don’t play the game of angles and positions. It’s going to get him up now, but he’s not going to be interested in the future. Boost him, smack his ego and say “yes” to every rhetorical question. For non-rhetorical questions keep strong and thoughtful opinions. Listen to his speeches and opinions. Even the dullest monologs are interesting when you can sip Bellini and admire your “on fleek“ manicure. Watch his body language. Fidgeting, avoiding eye contact and sweating profusely would normally be bad body language – but on the first date, nervousness can make perfect sense. Look in his eyes, it’s a mirror of the soul. Enough blabber. Brutally and soberly evaluate the situation. Will this acquaintance benefit you?

Disclaimer: The above description does not refer to arranged dating with financial benefits. Of course, you can use my advice in any situation, but if your contract does not convey romance and you immediately go to the thing, do not try to seduce him. He bought you already.

 

Yours truly,

Sugar Advisor

You are always welcome to write Oliwia at oliwia.misiak@gmail.com or send a direct message to @SugarAdvisor on Facebook.

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